120+ Funny Monday Quotes to Make Your Week Awesome!

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funny Monday

Another Monday is here. Time to hit the snooze button and pray that you wake up on Friday. If you’re like most of us who have some trouble getting up and “at ‘em” in the morning, these 120+ quotes will help you start your Monday off right and make your week awesome.

The Best List of Quotes to Start Your Monday with Fun!!!

1. “I have finally realized that Mondays last 50% longer than any other day of the week.”

2. “Just once in my life, I would love to wake up and turn on the television to find that Monday has been canceled and it’s time to go back to sleep.”

3. “Monday is a lot like a math problem. Add in the irritation, multiply the problems, subtract the sleep and divide the happiness.”

4. “God created Mondays to punish us for all of the things we did over the weekend.”

5. “The single worst part of Mondays is hearing you make complaints about Mondays.”

6. “Dear Mondays, I really think that you should take a holiday. Believe me, no one will even miss you.”

7. “Monday is the best day to start correcting all of last week’s mistakes.”

8. “It may be Monday, but that’s okay. Just be grateful for today.”

9. “Dear Monday, I think it’s time we break up. I’m still seeing Tuesday, and I can’t stop dreaming of Friday.”

10. “Mondays – the start of the work week. They offer new beginnings 52 times each year.”

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11. “Hey Monday – I have a question for you: why are you always back here so quickly? Don’t you have any hobbies?”

12. “Why is it that Mondays are so far from Fridays, but Fridays are so close to Monday?”

13. “Someone should enact a holiday that honors all people who turn up for work on Mondays.”

14. “Is it Monday already? I’m almost positive I did not get my entire portion of the weekend.”

15. “I really wish that Mondays were as fast as Usain Bolt.”

16. “I’d rather join the Hunger Games than enter the office on Mondays.”

17. “They say that every day is a gift. If that’s true, I want to know where I can return Mondays.”

18. “I haven’t had a Monday this bad since last Monday.”

19. “Tuesday really isn’t that bad. It’s a sure sign that I actually survived Monday.”

20. “Mondays should be illegal.”

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21. “It’s a new day and a new week. Start the day off fresh and strive to accomplish your best.”

22. “And in the blink of an eye, it’s Monday again.”

23. “Take a deep breath and try to relax. I promise – Monday will be over soon.”

24. “Dear Mondays, I really hate to say this, but it’s just not working out between us. You’re not my type. I’m a Saturday kind of gal. Please leave.”

25. “Alright Monday – how about you go about your business, and I’ll go about mine? Let’s just agree to disagree, and all of this will be over soon.”

26. “Whether you like it or not, Monday is here. You better just suck it up and force a smile.”

27. “Ah, Monday. So, we meet again. I see that my team of blue ninjas failed to finally take you out.”

28. “I’ve decided to file a police report against Monday. She won’t stop stalking me.”

29. “Mondays suck even more than a vacuum cleaner.”

30. “I’ve drank multiple cups of coffee, and Monday isn’t looking any better. Hey – give me a beer. Let’s see if that helps.”

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31. “When the day his your eye like a giant cow pie, that’s Monday.”

32. “Darn it! Monday found me again. I have to find a better hiding place next time.”

33. “Don’t look! Seriously – don’t look. Great – now that you looked, Monday knows that we saw it, and it’s coming over.”

34. “Hello and welcome to Monday. Do you take sugar, cream or Valium in your morning coffee?”

35. “This week has been so long already, and it’s only Monday.”

36. “Ladies and gentlemen – due to a complete lack of interest, Monday has been canceled. Thank you!”

37. “I’m in so much pain. Has anyone else been hit by the Monday shovel?”

38. “At the end of a rainbow, there’s a pot of gold. But when the weekend comes to an end, there’s only a Monday.”

39. “I smell the stench of Monday again – and boy does it reek!”

40. “I’m so not ready for another Monday. Can I please have another Sunday?”

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41. “Just take long and deep breaths. Mondays will only last for 24 hours.”

42. “Begin your Mondays with a positive thought. No – being positive about hating Monday doesn’t count.”

43. “Hey, look at the bright side: Mondays will only happen once per week.”

44. “Monday – why are you here again? I told you to go away with Tuesday and Wednesday. Thursday can stick around because it’s close friends with Friday, Saturday and even Sunday.”

45. “Sorry guys. I’m just suffering from Pre-Monday Syndrome.”

46. “If days were people, then Monday would be the person I’d punch every time I saw them.”

47. “I’m really not ready for this week to start. Why can’t we fast forward to Friday already?”

48. “Smile today and say a kind word to a stranger. Take the time to close your eyes and enjoy each moment. Have an amazing Monday everyone.”

49. “What’s the best part about Monday? The ending.”

50. “So many people grumble and complain about Mondays, but I’m grateful for another beautiful day. Have a great Monday everyone.”

51. “I’m willing to trade one brand new (still in the package) Monday for a weekend (any condition will do). Please call me to negotiate a deal.”

52. “Okay Monday – if you’re nice to me, I’ll be nice to you.”

53. “Monday – why are you still here? I fired you last week.”

54. “I’m putting Mondays up on eBay. Anyone want to start the bidding?”

55. “Unfortunately, I did not become a millionaire over the weekend, so I have to return to work on Monday.”

56. “It looks like we have all been robbed. Someone took away our weekend, and they replaced it with Monday.”

57. “I once read that Mondays are the most productive day of the work week. Today, I’m going to do my best to put an end to that ridiculous statistic.”

58. “Do you see Monday peeking around the corner? Don’t just stand there – poke it in the eye!”

59. “What’s there to say about Mondays? My mother always told me that if I didn’t have anything nice to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. So, I’m going to plead the Fifth.”

60. “Cheers to the start of a new week! Happy Monday!”

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61. “Monday really needs to face the facts that it’s the least favorite day of the week.”

62. “It’s Monday already? But I wasn’t done with my weekend yet!”

63. “Monday? Again? Weren’t you just here like a week ago? Maybe if you weren’t always trying to come around all the time, you would be welcomed more often.”

64. “I really don’t play well with others on a Monday. Can I skip today and just start again with Tuesday?”

65. “I see smoke on the horizon over there. I hope it is Monday burning down to the ground.”

66. “Coffee on Monday morning is almost as important as liquor on Friday.”

67. “Here’s a list of things I don’t like: 1) You. 2) When my coffee gets cold. 3) Having to sit through small talk. 4) Mondays. 5) Having to sit through small talk with you on a Monday morning while my coffee starts getting cold.”

68. “It’s Monday again? I wasn’t even finished with my Saturday yet!”

69. “If we all join together and just don’t show up to work on Mondays, we could put an end to the Monday blues once and for all. Please, spread the word.”

70. “I can judge how good my weekend was by how many photos I have to untag on Monday.”

71. “I just want to remind everyone that it’s finally Monday – just in case any of you were feeling optimistic.”

72. “I wish Monday had a face, so I could punch it.”

73. “Today is Monday. That’s reason enough to hate the day.”

74. “If you want to be successful, the very first thing you have to do is love your work.”

75. “Spend your life with people who make you happy – not people that you have to impress.”

76. “Just be who you are, and say whatever you feel.”

77. “Today is Monday. I have one goal for you: to be so happy that when other people look at you, they get happy, too.”

78. “Come on! It’s Monday. It’s not doomsday. Make today a great day.”

79. “Wake up and attack Monday with enthusiasm.”

80. “I need something stronger than coffee, but less than cocaine.”

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81. “May your coffee be extra strong, and your Monday be extra short.”

82. “It’s Monday – don’t forget to be awesome today.”

83. “Yes, it’s Monday. Yes, I’m happy. Yes, I’m blessed. I’m going to do amazing things this week.”

84. “Monday is a good day to have a good day.”

85. “Even though it’s Monday, it’s important to remember that good things are going to happen today.”

86. “Alright Monday, let’s do this!”

87. “It’s Monday morning. Time to get a new perspective. Whatever obstacles you may be facing are not permanent.”

88. “Keep your heart open to new dreams. As long as there’s a dream, there is hope. As long as there’s hope, there is joy in living.”

89. “Your mind is just like a parachute. It can’t work if it isn’t open.”

90. “Life is really only 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to everything.”

91. “Sorry – the elevator to success is no longer working. You’ll have to take the stairs one step at a time.”

92. “Yes, I have to go to work on Mondays, and I know that everyone hates Mondays. But I try to look at things a little differently. I don’t have to work, I get to work. I am so lucky to have a job while so many other people don’t.”

93. “Sometimes, I think it is better just to stay in bed on Monday instead of trying to debug Monday’s code.”

94. “Monday is a great day if I can spend it in bed. Honestly, I’m just a man of simple pleasures.”

95. “It doesn’t matter how many mistakes you make or how slow your progress is. You will still always be way ahead of everyone else who isn’t even trying.”

96. “There are times when good things fall apart, so that better things can come together.”

97. “You won’t ever become who you want to be if you keep on blaming other people for the person you are right now.”

98. “It’s Monday, so choose to be happy and be yourself. If other people don’t like it, let them be. Remember, happiness is a choice, and life is not about pleasing everyone else.”

99. “You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you just keep re-reading the last one. Monday is your chance to start a new chapter and put the weekend behind you.”

100. “The things that you do every day matter so much more than the things you do once in a while.”

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101. “I really don’t know what the key to success is, but I know that the key to failure is trying to please everyone else.”

102. “If you choose a job you love, you will never have to work another day in your life, and you’ll start looking forward to Mondays.”

103. “I always say “morning” on Mondays instead of “good morning”. If it were a good morning, I would still be asleep in bed.”

104. “I really don’t think there’s enough coffee or middle fingers to get through this Monday.”

105. “Today is Monday. I feel like putting an “out of order” sign on my head and going right back to bed.”

106. “Hey Monday, do us all a favor: go and step on a Lego.”

107. “It’s Monday. That means it’s time to take over the world.”

108. “I am so glad that it’s Monday – said no one ever.”

109. “Here are three horrible facts: Today is not Friday. Tomorrow isn’t Friday either. Even the day after tomorrow isn’t Friday.”

110. “Of course it’s Monday. This isn’t my Friday face.”

111. “I hate Mondays, and I hate working. Aside from that, I really am a happy person.”

112. “We interrupt your happiness to bring you Mondays. Don’t worry, you’re regularly scheduled happiness will resume again on Friday.”

113. “Monday is that disappointing moment when you drive up to work and it isn’t completely engulfed in flames.”

114. “Mondays would be so much better if they were a part of my weekend blackouts.”

115. “The only possible thing that could ruin a beautiful day in the summer is it also being Monday.”

116. “When you have Monday off, it gives you a great opportunity to start hating Tuesday.”

117. “It’s a comforting thought to know that even the Pope has a strong urge to quit his job every Monday morning.”

118. “I’m so sorry that the calendar played such a cruel joke on you by making your birthday fall on a Monday.”

119. “At some time, some place, and when you least expect it – Monday strikes!”

120. “Mondays are so mundane – kind of like Tuesdays, minus 24 hours.”

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121. “Employers are most happy on Mondays. Employees are most happy on Fridays.”

122. “I declare tomorrow Pancake Friday even though it’s Monday and I never eat breakfast.”

123. “When I finally got home, I took some sleeping pills. Before I knew it, it was Monday morning again.”

124. “I can’t even fathom the number of things that have already gone wrong this week, and it’s only Monday.”

125. “Monday is the day that you spend the first half of the day trying to find that responsible adult that you lost 5 o’clock on Friday.”

Share these 120+ quotes about Monday to brighten up the week for your friends and loved ones!

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